Over the weekend, I saw Midnight in Paris with Kerrianne. It was truly fantastic; complete with a cute plot, quirky characters, beautiful vignettes of Paris and super-duper, charming adorableness by Owen Wilson. The one thing that I wasn't expecting from this movie was a major marriage gut-check.
I thought the plot would be something along the lines of Owen Wilson being torn between this fantasy love and the reality of his real-life relationship, but in the end realizing how great he had it in real life. I never expected to despise his fiance so much and pull so hard for the fantasy love. I spent the entire movie writhing with irritation every time she appeared, usually to say something selfish, judgmental, degrading or patronizing to the supposed "love of her life." But the more I thought about how awful she was, the more I started the self-analyze. Enter gut check.
I have a husband who has a very different outlook on life than I do. He takes his time to make decisions. Boy does he take his time. :) He sees relationships and quality time as more important than to-do lists. When he is asked or decides to do something around the house, he generally completes said task in his own time frame. He is a kind, thoughtful person who cares deeply for just about everyone he comes into contact with and because of this, he is the type of person that strangers spill their life stories to.
And sometimes, I'm just a little irritated by all of these things. Sometimes I'd rather be antisocial and get my stuff done than invest in others. Sometimes I'd like him to do things on my time frame, in the way that I think they should be done. Sometimes I wish he'd spend a little less time worrying about other people and worry about me a little more. And sometimes, a lot of times, I am wrong.
As I watched this film and saw the quiet, funny, passionate spirit of Owen Wilson's character being abused by his fiance, I was reminded just how wrong I can be. How important it is for me to value, encourage and cultivate that beautiful spirit that I am married to. How important it is to remember that I am blessed with an incredible partner who can teach me SO much about enjoying life and relationships.
And there is nothing on my to-do list more important than that.
11 comments:
Great post. And one I should probably read weekly as a reminder. Thank you.
Wow, gut check for me just reading this, and now I want to see this movie, Thanks!
Wow - great post - and boy do I relate!
Great post - I loved what you wrote. And now I want to see this movie even more!
It's important for us to have those gut checks. I need them from time to time too. I also have a partner who is different than me and I have noticed myself be harsh on him because he doesn't do things my way. We're working on it and mostly I am trying to ease up and learn from him. He has a lot to teach me too!
This is an incredibly sweet (and heartfelt) post. I know what you mean, too...it's easy to start becoming irritated by the personality differences between you and your husband. I know that I've had to catch myself a lot in the past couple years - reminding myself that there's a reason Jay and I work so well together. It's our differences. And because he's been so patient with the things that make me ME...I've tried my best to embrace what makes him HIM.
It's a struggle some days, but it sure does pay off, doesn't it?
Also, now I want to see that movie. Badly. I envy your movie dates with my name twin and want to join. Can I move next-door? Please?
This was so lovely, babe.
And, see? Further proof that movies are totally awesome for MANY reasons, not just to teach us that Nicolas Cage is in fact losing his mind.
Also: Love! the new header/post title font. (Also: How do you dooo that?)
Well, I'm more than a few days late on reading this. I now understand why you've been asking me, more than usual, if I've "read your blog lately". Needless to say, I love you more than the rest.
This is a great post! I find myself watching other couples and seeing one of them being so harsh and critical and think man who would want to live with that and then I think back like ummmm I don't need to say everything that I do. I want to be treated tenderly and lovingly and so does he.
Thanks!
Great Post. I think we all find times when we are wrong. I know I too am wrong a lot of the time and yet I am blessed with a wonderful man who puts up me. I too need to learn more about enjoying life and let the to do lists slide a bit.
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